Road to “Chicago” – Summer Camp

So this road has a few more “bumps” in it than I thought. I’m still doing OK on my “must look really really hot” diet. Last week was a little rough as we went to a Family Camp up in Pinecrest. It was super fun, really dirty, and an overall great family time. The food was served family style, which I’m so NOT complaining about. Mostly cause any time I don’t have to cook, is a great time! BUT, it also means you get what ya get, and you don’t throw a fit. So it wasn’t always the healthiest of choices for me. I will say, that I made it the whole week without haveing a single smore!! (if you knew me, you’d know that that’s a reeeeally big deal.) I did 2 half hour Yoga classes, and after many people asked for it, I taught 1 Dance Fitness class. And let me tell ya, Dance Fitness at 7,000 feet is slightly different than sea level. I was ready to pass out after the warm up! But all in all, it was a good week. Now I’m home and back on the eating schedule that I can control. I have 10 more days till I leave for Sacramento, so I think I’ll be in good shape! That and the fact that I’m more than willing to maim, scratch and draw blood for one of the one piece costumes.

The “bump” in the road was not one I was expecting. This summer came racing at me. I did the best I could and organized the boys summer camps, so that no one would be bored. Cole had Robotics, Chess and Cooking camps. Jackson had Video Making, Tennis and Camp River Way. Camp River Way is a sleep away camp. My husband and I thought this would be a good year for our oldest to try it. He’s an awesome kid, but very codependent on me. What can I say, he was my first born and I coddled him to a fault. But now we were going to fix it! Let him be on his own for 2 weeks! Make new friends! Have adventures! Learn to tie his own shoes!! It all sounded great 6 months ago. But now the time is here, and it sucks. He left 3 days ago and I’m lost. I thought he was the codependent one, but maybe it’s me? I feel like a car with 3 wheels. But here’s the worst part….ready? I leave for Sacramento 2 days before he gets back. So I won’t see him until he comes to visit me there. That’s 4 WEEKS I won’t see my boy! I know i know, there’s Facetime, and Skype and blah blah blah, but I won’t hug his little body for 4 WEEKS!!

I’m so torn. I’m one part excited about performing in a show, actually doing something just for myself, my own sleep away camp if you will. And one part saddened that I can’t have my family with me. In my industry, the entertainment industry, the jobs don’t come to you. You have to go to the jobs. So how do I do that and still feel like a good mother? A good wife? I feel like either way, someone’s getting short changed. Hence, the “bump”. More like a big fat pothole. I know I need to stop worrying…..My husband keeps telling me “we’ll all be fine”, but honestly, I don’t like that either. I don’t want to be ‘fine’ without each other. But maybe this is what we need. What we all need. To be less codependent, to have our own adventures, make new friends….. Adult Sleep Away Camps? I don’t know….I’m going to try to listen to my own advice. When my son left I told him not to waste this time being sad. Enjoy the time away from us to learn more about himself. Take every new adventure thrown at you and make the most of it! Have fun and know that he and I will have the whole rest of the year together! So I’m going to do it. Make the most of my time away, and not feel guilty. (try!)  And maybe…..just maybe….I’ll come back knowing how to tie my own shoes.